Devotional Series: The Crown Within the Cross
Lessons from the book and life of Ruth- The risk of loving ( Part I)
In the story of Naomi and Ruth, there exists many similarities with that of the experience of Job. Whilst both reveal personal stories of love and loss, the book of Ruth presents this message from the female lens and perspective. The whole book, narrates Ruth and Naomi’s story, highlighting numerous interesting life lessons that many of us can relate to. Whilst in principle, God is consistent in how He works with all of humanity, He recognises the differences that exist between each one of us. How He reaches me during my time of suffering and pain, may not exactly be how He reaches you. Therefore, to have these varying accounts in scripture, that show both the female and male perspective, more wisdom can be gathered in which to learn from.
Ruth and Naomi’s experience with suffering and loss is truly like none other in the bible yet, is one all of us would have faced to some degree. Whether that be a loss of a parent, sibling, spouse, friend, family member, in the book of Ruth we can all find ourselves painted there. Devasted by the sting of death, the uncertainty of the future and dealing with the pain of heartbreak, are crosses that mar our lives this side of heaven. ‘Moving on’ with life after loss must be one of the hardest roads to pass. Grief can trail with it feelings of guilt, guilt for moving on or seeking closure. Mourning the loss of unmet expectations and unexpected losses that mark the end of a chapter in life we may have not been prepared to see close, often characterise one’s journey through grief, pain and loss. Other people’s expectations of us can lead us to worry and fret about what opinion they may form if we make decision A or decision B. This can lead us into a spiral of unhealthy coping mechanisms and people pleasing efforts at the expense of principle and conscience, a cross God never intended for us to carry. In the life of Ruth and Naomi, we can see how they navigated all of this, journeyed down this difficult road together and how God brought healing, hope and restoration. “Whilst both reveal personal stories of love and loss, the book of Ruth presents this message from the female lens and perspective. ”
After having experienced a devasting drought in the land of Israel, Elimlech found himself with little option but to relocate him and his entire family to the foreign land of Moab. The Kingdom of Moab ever since its inception, had gradually become known as one of the enemies of Israel (1 Samuel 14:47). Founded by Moab himself, the son born from Lot’s incestuous relationship with his daughter (Genesis 19:30-38), he soon went on to plunge into more heathen, idolatrous practices. Unexpectedly we read of the death of Elimelech, Naomi’s husband and later both of their two sons Mahlon and Chilion, leaving Naomi a widower with virtually no financial stability, support or status in the foreign land. Ruth 1: 1-5
Now it came to pass in the days when the judges ruled, that there was a famine in the land. And a certain man of Bethlehemjudah went to sojourn in the country of Moab, he, and his wife, and his two sons.
2 And the name of the man was Elimelech, and the name of his wife Naomi, and the name of his two sons Mahlon and Chilion, Ephrathites of Bethlehemjudah. And they came into the country of Moab, and continued there.
3 And Elimelech Naomi's husband died; and she was left, and her two sons.
4 And they took them wives of the women of Moab; the name of the one was Orpah, and the name of the other Ruth: and they dwelled there about ten years.
5 And Mahlon and Chilion died also both of them; and the woman was left of her two sons and her husband.
With little prospect of securing survival at the hands of the Moabite people, Naomi decided to return to the familiarity of her homeland. At his point Naomi had lived in Moab for ten years and so, was probably quite established there having made a home and life for herself and her family, with no real intention of returning to Bethlehem Judah. Essentially, she was a displaced refugee following the loss of all her immediate family. The familiarity and stability she once enjoyed, had overtime been chipped away. Life too often can change; the times of peace can swiftly be overtaken with seasons of darkest night. Whilst we can’t always anticipate when tragedy may hit us, we can daily develop a habit of gratitude, faith and dependence on God that can carry us through life’s roughest roads. “So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.”
The only connections we are told Naomi had left in Moab, were with her daughter in laws, Oprah and Ruth that were also made widowers. However, their position was different to Naomi given that they were young Moabite women in their own land, with the prospect of remarrying again among their own people in the future. Although Naomi undoubtedly would have benefited from the companionship, no selfish motive was employed to try and persuade either one of her daughter in law’s to stay. Instead, a desire to safeguard and promote the wellbeing of both Oprah and Ruth was the one thought on Naomi’s mind. She was honest in relaying to them both the reality of the life they would be choosing should they decide to accompany her. Ruth 1: 8-13
8 And Naomi said unto her two daughters in law, Go, return each to her mother's house: the Lord deal kindly with you, as ye have dealt with the dead, and with me.
9 The Lord grant you that ye may find rest, each of you in the house of her husband. Then she kissed them; and they lifted up their voice, and wept.
10 And they said unto her, Surely we will return with thee unto thy people.
11 And Naomi said, Turn again, my daughters: why will ye go with me? are there yet any more sons in my womb, that they may be your husbands?
12 Turn again, my daughters, go your way; for I am too old to have an husband. If I should say, I have hope, if I should have an husband also to night, and should also bear sons;
13 Would ye tarry for them till they were grown? would ye stay for them from having husbands? nay, my daughters; for it grieveth me much for your sakes that the hand of the Lord is gone out against me.
In her love for them, she was willing to risk it all at any expense and loss to herself. To love at all, is to accept the risk of loss, but the beauty of loving far outweighs them all. Love gives without expectation of return; it operates in the realm of freedom and liberty and is not affected or diminished through the process of test and trial but rather grows and expands with the passing of time. Naomi demonstrated this true heaven born love even in her time of need. When she herself desired and needed this love bestowed towards her, she first led by example in demonstrating it and extending it to those closest to her. It was in doing this selflessly, that the very love Naomi imparted was what she in turn received. “Only by love is love awakened.”
In response to Naomi’s selfless pleadings, Ruth responds with the famous declaration:Ruth 1: 16-17
16 And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:
17 Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.
In just this one instance we see the power of true love that knitted the hearts of both Ruth and Naomi in true friendship. A Love so deeply rooted in their hearts that was able to conquer fear, stronger than the pain of loss and more powerful than any of the enemies soul destroying darts. From the very first chapter of Ruth, the beginnings of a practically unbreakable bond were created out of one of the most challenging experiences they both faced. Where Ruth is, there you will find Naomi and visa versa. The fact they both needed each other in some way, is a beautiful portrayal of the healthy vulnerability that God intended for us to have between one another as human beings, members of the heavenly family. Often, we picture marriage as the only setting in which this can take place, but even in our other relationships we can exercise to a healthy level of mutual trust, respect and openness with the right people. “A Love so deep rooted in their hearts that, was able to conquer fear, stronger than the pain of loss and more powerful than any of the enemies soul destroying darts.”
In maintaining our individuality and personal identity, this is never to create the mindset that we don’t need support or help. It is in our interpersonal interactions and social relationships, where God is seeking to create in us a selfless servant heart. It is there that God works to rid us of our naturally selfish, overly confident spirit that is too often the cause of much pain in our lives. Either extremes of being co-dependent seeking continual approval from others or being overly stubborn and strong willed both produce bitter fruits. In Ruth’s loyalty and devotion to Naomi, God was at the centre. Ruth wanted to follow Naomi’s God, she saw the beauty of the character of God in the life of Naomi and it was that, that not only attracted her but kept her by her side. Her devotion came from a place of deep desire to love and serve God, a place of selflessness. A heart to give rather to receive, actuated Ruth’s decision to stay when others left. “A heart to give rather to receive, actuated Ruth’s decision to stay.”
In both Oprah’s and Ruth’s case, they were both exposed to the same influences through their connection with Naomi and her household, yet they made two different choices. Freedom and time was allotted in which to make their decision without cohesion, force or manipulation. No commentary is made as to whether Ruth’s choice to stay was commended over Orpah’s decision to separate. However, what we do know is the outcome of Ruth’s choice to stay committed and loyal to the leading of God in bringing her in contact with Naomi’s family. In her faithfulness, God brought her through her season of suffering and pain. She entered empty but came out full, we read of her heartbreak and destitution, but leave the book of Ruth having seen the restorative work of God in her life. The hardships, pains and sorrows of life are just as an integral part of our story as the joys, successes and excitements we experience. The one prepares us for the reception of the other and has the potential to enlarge our capacity for receiving more of His love, wisdom and faith. In walking through the darkest valley, we become more desperate in our longings and appreciation for the warmth and glow of the light. Even when the future looks bleak, our God can redeem the most painful stories, restore the most broken situations and replenish our lives with whatever we are lacking. We may find ourselves in a similar position to Naomi and Ruth where uncertainty seems to be overtaking our lives and the temptation arises to seek to please ourselves and our own interests. Remember, it is only in giving that we can truly receive what we need. In choosing the way of love, the road may not always be smooth, but you can be sure that it will lead to the most glorious destination. God took Ruth in her brokenness and pain and reused it for her blessing and our profit. “The law of self-sacrifice is the law of self- preservation.”
