Sisters Anon Episode 1: Abused & Heartbroken to a Godly Courtship
Hey Family! Welcome, welcome, welcome to this very first episode of Sisters Anonymous. *Cue theme song*
First off, I’d like to say thank you so much to those who poured their heart out and wrote in. This has been a dream for a long time to create a community of sisters of the faith to share in experiences in an open way where we can be vulnerable, yet comfortable to speak on what’s on our hearts. This weeks sister shared a beautiful testimony with us, and we’d like to share it with you. Afterwards, we’ll share some thoughts and encouragement with you all.
Without further adieu, here is our sister’s testimony:
“Good morning, and God bless you all!
I just want to give a testimony that I don’t know if other sisters in the faith experienced per say, but that I know many women out here have. I was in a very toxic and abusive relationship for about two and a half years; I never thought I would go through what I went through. At first, the guy I was with actually taught me about the Sabbath (I technically came into the faith by him, thank God for the seed planted), and we would have many Biblical conversations on many topics I never knew were mentioned in the Word. He was very sweet and funny, and super caring in a self-sacrificing way. Because I had a not-so-good past, I talked to him about things I had done, which made him so condemning and judging toward me, because actions from my past would come up in our relationship. Our relationship become very intense when we became sexual, which both of us at the beginning discussed about waiting until marriage…”
Let’s unpack this! A lot of times there are those in the faith that have a lot of heart work that needs to be done in them! Even within this, there was a BLESSING— God led our sister into the faith even through a broken vessel. While there was pain, temptation and abuse, this just goes to show that when God has a plan for your life, NO ONE can get in the way of that. God see’s our sins and does not condemn us. He brings us a Savior from our sins! He creates in us a clean heart (Psalm 51:10).
The feeling of being condemned by others is something I think we all know all too well. When I first was introduced to the SDA Church, I had such a discouraging time being that I didn’t dress or look the part of an Adventist, and those around me made it very apparent that I wasn’t welcome. It wasn’t until years later that I became Adventist because I realized something— you cannot allow the flaws and sins of others to get in the way of your walk with God. I realized the church was flawed, but Jesus isn’t. I realized they need prayer just as much as I do, and only Jesus can bring perfection to that character.
”A lot of horrible things happened during that time. I was seeing my family hurt because of what I was doing wrong, I was becoming suicidal and self-afflicting because of my pain and I felt like I had no one to talk to nor care for me (I’m just scratching the surface about the WHOLE situation, a TON of moving pieces makes up the whole picture). Things started to shift when I started going to church for myself and started learning more about God and His love. It took a long time for me to realize I did not deserve to be treated the way I was, and because of God’s forgiveness of my sins was more than enough for me to be free in Jesus, then another person had no right to condemn me of the past God chose to forget about. I was to be no one’s toy for their use, but to be God’s vessel for His glory. I took it upon myself by God’s strength and courage to break the relationship up. It came with some backlash after doing so, but all I can remember the Spirit saying was “keep moving forward, I will take care of this for you.” And surly enough, He did!
I still had thoughts about my ex and I getting back together down the line, but, several months later I fully gave my life to Christ! ❤️ I also wrote a letter to God about what I desired in a godly man…and when I tell you, God will give to you the desires of your heart, full of sincerity and love for Him, HE WILL DO IT! About a year and a half after breaking the relationship up, I met a guy on a Christian livestream on Instagram, and I was asking the LORD for more brothers and sisters in the faith I can connect with and talk to. This guy in particular, we connected seamlessly! He was getting baptized and shared about it, and I was so happy for him that he gave his life to the LORD! Eventually, which I would not expect him to do, he opened up to me about some struggles he was facing and asked for prayer. I did and also reassured him about some things I dealt with and how I overcame by the blood of the Lamb. ❤️
Nearly four years later, with many trials and struggles we both faced individually and together, we are now in a courtship in hopes of getting married in the up coming months! (2022 is going to be such an AMAZING year!) “
Praise God! I love how God hears our prayers and is immediately concerned! The verse that immediately comes to mind is: “ For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jeremiah 29:11
I resonate so much with this. I’ve also struggled with mental health, and felt that I was in a hole that no one can save me from. My anxiety would eat at all of my relationships until I had none left, and kept me alone. While slightly different, mental health is not to be overlooked. One thing I’ve learned is that God should be the first person we go to with our mental health. He is the ultimate physician! We often think He’s either not concerned with that, or on the other extreme that it doesn’t exist. This is false. This is why He says “guard your heart (mind), for out of it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23. I’m glad God kept you, and walked with you through the valley, sis.
”Before ending this off, I want to say some of the things I wrote to God about in want I desired in a godly man…
- A man who will become my best friend FIRST (we grown to have a extremely tight friendship that proved to have stand the test of time and trial)
- Someone who reminds me of Jesus in character and disposition (he has not judged me of my past at any point, and understands as sinners we have our Advocate who pleas for us and cleanses from our sins, and he’s very calm and cool while being fun and sweet 🥰)
- Someone who loves me unconditionally and can show me how much he can love no matter what (he has proven time and time again to love me despite my mistakes toward him)
- A man who loves and accepts my family (I’m the only Sabbath keeper in my family, yet, upon meeting my family, he loved them and enjoyed their company a lot, and my family LOVES him too!)
I hope that this wasn’t too long, but I just want to say that if anyone has gone through what I went through or in a similar fashion, please know that there is HOPE and POWER in the name of Jesus, and if you give Him your heart, you give Him your life. Pray to Him about everything that is on your heart and what your desires are, He can either give to you exactly what you ask for if it is in His wisdom to do so, or do even better! He loves each and every one of you so much that He personally died for you so that you can live life abundantly in Him!
Please pray for my partner and I’s courtship, as we have been strong adhering to the counsel in the Word and SOP (The Adventist Home) about courtship, marriage and the life in the home, and we couldn’t be any more happier than we are to take the LORD in our relationship. ❤️
God bless you all so much, I love you lots in the LORD, and keep your eyes forever upon Jesus!”
Amen, amen, amen! We will be diligently keeping your courtship in prayer, in hopes that God’s will be done alone. If any are interested in reading up on courtship, check out our two part posts within our series Modesty &: “Courtship”.
