Devotional Series: The Crown Within The Cross
Lessons from the life of Abigail- What is your identity?
Abigail must be one of my favourite women in the bible. If you have not yet noticed from this devotional series, I have a particular interest in studying the lives of those somewhat ‘under rated’ women in the bible who show exceptional faith though little is said of them. Though the commentary of their lives is relatively small in comparison to other well-known bible hero’s, their imprint is no less marked and their legacy equally as valuable. Whether God calls you to occupy the position of Esther, Deborah or Sarah, or you’re the little maid serving among the masses, a life of faith and purpose can always be realised. The legacy you leave, the mark you make has for more to do with the character you have cultivated, than the family lineage handed down to you. It encompasses more than either your mistakes or greatest achievements, your successes or failures, the good or ill others think of you or indeed, what you may or may not think about yourself. Whilst our identity is a gift already bestowed upon us from God, the choice is ours as to whether we would seek to understand and walk in it. “
The legacy you leave, the mark you make has for more to do with the character you have cultivated, than the family lineage handed down to you. ”
From the beginning, the first woman Eve, was given her identity and every day the choice was her's as to whether or not to live according to it. Before the entrance of sin, Eve was perfectly contented, aware of her purpose and satisfied knowing she had meaning. However, sin like an unwelcome intruder, disturbed her security and altered the perception she had about her identity. Since then, the battle has continually been waged against us learning, understanding and walking in our identity and individuality. Particularly as women living in the 21st century, the battle seems even more furious. At all angles we are bombarded with messages, information, pictures, quotes, what to do, what not to do the list goes on and on. The myriad of voices and opinions, the constant changing beauty standards and societal trends are all ingredients in a disastrous recipe the world presents for achieving any sort of fulfilment and meaningful identity. Yet, most seem to be following this recipe and expect a different cake to come out of the oven. Paul in 2 Corinthians 10:12 already warned us against the dangers of comparison which is often the result of us not knowing our person identity for ourselves. Maybe for you the idea of your identity being given to you from God, is not particularly appealing. You may fear that it might remove all the joy, fun and happiness from life, leaving you unfulfilled and regretful in the end. When you have experienced the best, it’s then and only then when everything before, is seen in its proper light. The only way to experience the best of anything, is to receive it from Him who is infinitely Best (Psalms 119:68). 
Most of our thoughts in this devotional will be taken from 1 Samuel 25. Following the death of the beloved prophet Samuel, the overall spirituality and ultimate prosperity of the nation was hanging in the balance. A vacuum left by the departure of the prophet could hardly be filled with it’s current leader, King Saul. The demonic spirit actuating his conduct was the sole cause of David’s plight. Vulnerable to his persistent attacks, David was forced to flee to the wilderness of Paran. With the future greatly unstable and depleted of basic supplies, David did what any intelligent noble man would do, in asking a favour from Nabal a wealthy citizen. 1 Samuel 25:2-3
And there was a man in Maon, whose possessions were in Carmel; and the man was very great, and he had three thousand sheep, and a thousand goats: and he was shearing his sheep in Carmel.
Now the name of the man was Nabal; and the name of his wife Abigail: and she was a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance: but the man was churlish and evil in his doings; and he was of the house of Caleb.
In this brief description of Abigail’s identity, we gain a clear picture of the type of woman she was, contrasted with that of her husband. From the passage, we can see how her identity stretched beyond her externally attractive features to her inward character and internal qualities. The fact that the bible makes specific reference to her marital relationship, shows the healthy harmonious balance that God recognises and places on our social links be it familial or marital. Whilst her status or position as a wife was highlighted, they were a part of a greater picture. This was an element or piece that contributed to her identity, rather than the completed picture itself. Abigail was still Abigail even after the death of Nabal and subsequent marriage to David, but Abigail would not be the recognisable, noteworthy Abigail we see from the Bible, had she not exercised that level of wisdom and understanding. In the search of our identity we can be sure that God will always provide us with balance. Every part of us is significant, our heritage, ethnicity, relationships all contribute to our individuality which makes us distinct and unique. Whilst you may come from a certain place, have a certain skin colour, hair type the list goes on and on, you are so much more than that. Yes, embrace that for the God given gift that it is, but to dwell on it by focusing our attention on it at the expense of developing ourselves in other areas, may leave us with a narrow, restricted view of all that God designs for us to be. “Whilst her status or position as a wife was highlighted, they were a part of a greater picture. This was an element or piece that contributed to her identity, rather than the completed picture itself.”
Similarly, the inward and external beauty that Abigail was known for, presents a great lesson to us as women. Whilst the dangers of the world’s standard of beauty is one to speak about and guard against, an equally destroying view can be presented within the religious world. When it comes to modesty, the impression can be made or impression left on the minds of women that somehow, beauty or attractiveness is something to be ashamed of, avoided or something to diminish. In our efforts (notice I said OUR efforts) to try and ‘be modest’, somehow it gets translated into ‘try and look as unappealing and unattractive as possible’ to not cause our brothers to stumble. Thus, leading to a great deal of women completely repelled from the whole idea of modesty. This could not be further from the truth. We are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), when women were created God Himself pronounced us as very good (Genesis 1:31). Being beautiful is not the issue at stake, but rather what we do with that beauty. The admonition and caution in God’s word focuses on how we conduct ourselves as women, where and how much emphasis, focus and attention we place on our external appearance. 1 Peter 3:3-4
Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
Modesty is a safeguard God has given us as women to help us stay focused on the totality of our mission, purpose and identity which in a general sense, is for each one of us to glorify Him and reveal His character. It is not God’s way of seeking to take away our beauty as something to be avoided, a cross to bear that we seek to shun. Instead, modesty is designed to help us direct and enhance our external beauty in a way that will be a blessing to others and will glorify Him. “God is a lover of the beautiful, but that which He most loves is a beautiful character.... It is beauty of character that shall not perish, but last through the ceaseless ages of eternity. ”
The greatest part our identity is found in who we are on the inside. The character we possess, the wisdom and grace we show, the kindness and courtesy we extend to those deserving and especially those undeserving. That is where our identity is formed, and it is in this line where God is calling us as women to develop and come up higher in. In a world where external beauty is often capitalised on and the greatest emphasis placed, let it not be more highly prized than the internal beauty that never fades. We can all be beautiful to the eye, that is not the question or challenge. How many of us can be beautiful in spirit, in words, in thought in action? In seeking to measure up to the ever moving goal posts of the world that claim to tell us our identity as women, maybe the cross too heavy to bear is our human standards and not the clear unchangeable truths of God’s ideal for us? Maybe what seems like cross to us, is in fact great freedom, joy and contentment in knowing the plan God has for our identity as women is a good, beautiful plan, that in covers far more than we realise and seeks to give and not take away from the realest, purest form of beauty? Abigail had it, not because she was more special, favoured or loved than you are. She was secure in her identity, wise beyond human expectation and beautiful in all aspects because she received it from God. A simple, tried and tested recipe for success, true joy and happiness that still works today.