A Page From My Journal: Entry 5- Life Update Pt.2

Hey Familia! If you haven’t read part one to this blog entry, check it out here! Let’s jump right in.

April 2021- I Take A Leave of Absence from Work

When my father passed, I initially took a couple weeks off to process and grieve, but that time wasn’t enough. I hadn’t realized how much his passing effected me until I started declining at work. I realized for my well being and mental health, I needed to take time off of work. I additionally put my businesses on hold after a certain point to really focus on my fathers estate, looking for a home, and planning a wedding. Needless to say, I was stressed.

I took the time within my leave to focus on my mental health. I was so silent, my thoughts were racing and stagnant at the same time. Writing this now, in 2022, I can honestly say last year was a blur. I sought help and it wasn’t enough for me. I struggled and tussled with God, questioning His will, and wrestled with my Fathers death. I needed to be strong for the rest of my family, or so I thought. I put that burden on myself, since I’m the only person in my family who is a believer. In doing so, it forced me to bury my grief, and it resurfaced later on.

September 2021- I’m Married!

During this leave, it allowed me to plan for my wedding. Out of the entire year, this was the most precious time for me.

Paul and I had courted for 4 years before engagement, but we had known each other for over 12 years. Having such a precious friendship growing up, to then courting, was the sweetest journey I could have ever asked for. He was with me throughout all of my trials during this year, despite it being our engagement year. This has truly brought us closer within marriage. I trust my heart with him (second to Jesus), and I’m grateful that God was so thoughtful of me, that while I lost my earthly Father, He handed me another man to care for my heart while on this Earth immediately. We prayed tremendously to be sure that we were within Gods will. Courtship and marriage is not a light thing, Yes, it is a privilege. However, once you’re married, there is new duties as a Christian that is to be fulfilled that otherwise you wouldn’t have had as a single person. You are now responsible for not only your salvation, but your spouses! Your marriage is to be a pattern of the Heavenly marriage between Christ and His church. While marriage can feel like it is yours, it is wholly Gods, and it is a ministry in itself.

The choice of a life companion should be such as best to secure physical, mental, and spiritual well-being for parents and for their children—such as will enable both parents and children to bless their fellow men and to honor their Creator. [9]
– “Adventist Home” 45.4

These past 7 months of marriage have refined rough edges within my character, have taught me how selfish I really was (and still sometimes am, I’m still growing), and how Jesus is to be exemplified within the home. It has truly been a blessing thus far, and I look forward to the growth and happiness that will continue within our ministry and marriage.

God celebrated the first marriage. Thus the institution has for its originator the Creator of the universe. “Marriage is honourable”; it was one of the first gifts of God to man, and it is one of the two institutions that, after the fall, Adam brought with him beyond the gates of Paradise. When the divine principles are recognized and obeyed in this relation, marriage is a blessing; it guards the purity and happiness of the race, it provides for man’s social needs, it elevates the physical, the intellectual, and the moral nature. [3]
– “Adventist Home” 25.4

January 2022- 1 Year Anniversary, I leave my job

Coming up towards my fathers anniversary of passing, I hadn’t realized how much I had internalized and pushed down. A lot of my pent up grief from the past year really rose out at this time. When I went back to work in October, it took me a while to get a groove at my job again, and I never really got my groove back fully. Inching towards his anniversary, I declined again. I hadn’t had time to grieve within the past year, and I was so hard on myself for not performing at work. I hadn’t even finished full preparations with my Dad’s estate!

After the departure from my job, a weight so heavy had just lifted. I wasn’t happy there, and it showed. Life had a new meaning for me after the year I just had, and being somewhere where I am not happy was not serving me anymore. I’d grown up enduring jobs for the sake of pay and security. Realizing how life can just be snatched in the blink of an eye, we go into motions of life and forget Gods true purpose for us. Leaving a full time job allowed me to grow closer to God, and He took care of me. It was then where I truly was able to experience healing.

“He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭147:3‬ ‭KJV‬‬

“Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭55:22‬ ‭KJV‬‬

April 2022- Start as full time freelancer

Now, I am a full time freelance web and graphic designer under my own agency, FP Creatives Studio. I design and build Squarespace and Shopify sites, graphics, stationery design, and brands for other small businesses.

alongside my graphic design, I am still running my two small businesses, Fuller’s Soap, and Ashley’s Crafts N’ Things. And let’s not forget this blog! I’m blessed to have these businesses, and the time to now pour my energy into them. I’m passionate about all of them, and I pray that those who shop or read are blessed.